I'll Be Your Respirator
by Echante
Summary: Derek has Alzheimer's and asks for his wife. Addek. Meredith/Addison understanding... I wouldn't call it friendship but... yeah One-Shot.


**I'll Be Your Respirator**

_We're, two spinning spheres, two spinning spheres/ in a bed of stars/Silence is super /staring into space I wonder where you are_

"Do you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Paris." He tells her, eyes gleaming, smile teasing the corners of his lips, "I've never seen sunsets like that anywhere else."

She didn't say the words he'd thought she would say, she didn't reminisce along with him or recall the endless trays of cheeses and grapes, nights spent up late sitting on the roof of their rented villa. Instead she strokes the tips of his graying hair and whispers 'I know' repeatedly. He doesn't know why she doesn't remember.

"Why are you being like this Addy?" He calls her on her lack of enthusiasm, "What's wrong?"

He feels her tense underneath him, "I'm not Addison Derek."

"But…"

"It's Meredith. But you don't seem to remember anymore." She spits out bitterly.

He ignores it, "Where's Addison?"

"She's in L.A."

"My wife's in L.A.? No. She would tell me something important like that."

"She lives in L.A."

"That's bull. Addy's a New York girl. She's here. In New York. With me."

"You're in Seattle Derek." The other woman sighs and cringes as he leaps to his feet and shouts at her.

"Bullshit! Why are you lying to me? Where's my wife? I want my wife!" And he stomps off before Meredith can say, "She's right here."

_You're all that I've ever needed/ I know that you won't feel it_

"Sir. I'm going to need you to calm down."

"I need to see my wife!" His face contorts and his ears turn red and he mutters over and over, bursting back into the yelling every few seconds.

"Sir. You were just with your wife."

"I don't know who the fuck that is! I need to see my wife!"

"Sir. You have signs of early on-set _Alzheimer's. _You're remembering things from your past, your wife is here. With you now."

He breaks down on the floor, sobbing and pounding his knuckles raw, "I want Addy! Damnit! Where's my wife?"

The receptionist sighs and turns her pitying stare towards Meredith, "It's just the…"

"Yeah…" she sighs too, "I know."

_Drift out into darkness/ Lost out on horizon/ I'll be your respirator/ I'll be your pressure suit_

"Addison?"

She groans and allows her mouth to draw into a thin line, "What?"

"He's asking for you."

"Again?"

The silence on the other side indicates the nodding.

"Can you just tell him to get over it?"

"Damn it Addison! As if this isn't hard for me! I have to call my husband's ex-wife to come to Seattle just to get him to calm down! Jesus!"

"Shh." She whispers soothingly into the phone, "I'm sorry. It's just… what do I say to my husband?"

Silence on the other end before the woman gives her the answer, "You tell him to treasure the time you have because before you know it, it's fucking gone."

_Violently clear the upper atmosphere/ Raging out your heart/ Somewhere far beneath/ Your pointed tongue and teeth/ Is where you really are_

"Addison?"

She looks tired and he marvels at her shorter hair cut and darker hair color. "Derek." She manages. He grins at her, "They keep telling me you're gone. I knew better."

She strains to smile at him, "That you did."

He reaches out his hand to her face and he notices her wince, "What's wrong? Addy? It's me, tell me please?"

She closes her eyes and exhales, "Derek. You're sick." The words come out as a sob, "You're very, very sick and… this isn't… this isn't… I'm not your wife anymore."

"But…" he stammers, "You're wearing your ring." He says fingering it, and then he looks down, "… This isn't… this isn't our ring."

She looks away and tears begin to gather in his eyes, "Why isn't this our ring? Addy?"

"Goddamnit you have _Alzheimer's_ Derek. Do you know what that means? You have _Alzheimer's._"

"No. No… they keep telling me that… Why are you telling me this? I don't have _Alzheimer's… _I just miss my wife." He takes a step towards her and she distances herself.

"Addy." Tears stream down his face, "Why won't you talk to me?"

"I… I can't. Derek, we're not married anymore."

He looks down and fumbles his fingers, "No… Do you remember the first day we met?"

She smiles, "I thought you were the biggest jerk ever."

Derek grins back idiotically, "I thought you were beautiful."

"_You nearly killed the guy."_

"_I did not."_

"_You're a fucking idiot."She tore off her gloves and scrubbed her hands harshly._

"_Even so. You should have dinner with me."_

"_You're insane, you just screwed up the biggest surgery I had all year, why the hell would I agree to go out with you?" _

_He shrugs, "Cause you like me."_

"_I do not."_

"_I'm charming."_

"_Are not."_

"_I have good hair."_

"_Eh."_

"_You have nothing to lose?"_

"_I have a boyfriend."_

_He grinned and leaned in close as if to whisper in her ear, "Ditch him."_

_And she did._

_Don't want to be forgiven/ But drag you down from where you are_

"I have to go Derek." She tells him, the five foot distance still instated.

"Come back to me Addy. We could be great; we could run away from all of this shit. We could go home."

And she gulps because she remembers, she remembers the good times with the man in front of her, she remembers Christmases and Thanksgivings and Birthdays spent dragging him across Manhattan or lazily dozing in bed. Her hand impulsively reaches towards his face and he stares. She jerks away.

"You have a wife now Derek… Try and remember her. You do love her. Try and remember." And with those closing words she walked away.

She can't breathe when she walks out the door.

_Drift out in the darkness  
Lost out on horizon  
It's alright  
It's alright  
I'll be your respirator  
I'll be your parachute  
It's alright  
It's alright_

_Oooohhhh oh  
Mmmm, ohhhh oh_

_I'll be your respirator  
I'll be your pressure suit  
It's alright, It's alright_

_I will not let you go...ohh_

_Two spinning spheres, they spin together  
I'm gon' spin alone  
I don't know how I can do this  
I don't know how to get through  
It's alright, It's alright  
I can't stop loving you (6x)_

_It's alright, It's alright_

_I'll be your respirator  
I'll be your pressure suit  
It's alright, It's alright  
I'll be your four leaf clover  
I'll be your pressure suit  
I'll be your angel wings  
I'll be your parachute  
I can't stop loving you  
It's alright, It's alright_


End file.
